Zach:
Greetings from Kazakhstan! After 7 hours from Boston to Frankfurt, a hellish, oxygen deprived, 6 hour layover, an 8 hour flight to Almaty, some sleep...then a 3.5 hour drive back to Taldy, we were introduced to our baby girl this afternoon.... She's cute as a button, smells like porridge, and - get this - peed all over my shirt. They say boys are the ones who get you, but after a year, Kai's never whizzed on me- he's come close.. I know this little one for half an hour and Schlamo!...
We're very excited to be here and to have met her. Something is different this time however. And I've been mulling it over since we left the babyhouse. I've heard parents say 'there's nothing like your first time'. When we first met Kai (our first child for those new to the site), we were like a clean slate. Our love for him could start growing with no distractions, and no comparison with a child we already had. I knew it would take time for us to feel attached to Rowan - but it hit me how foreign and new she is. This is because I have a point of reference for my sense of attachment. It would be unrealistic to think that I could feel for her the way I feel for Kai until I get to know her. This may appear obvious to all parents with more than one child, but it's nothing people talk much about. I gather this is because the lack of attachment is temporary, and is forgotten in time.
With that said, I felt a strong connection with her. She stared into my eyes and ran her fingers over my stubbly chin. We're just as new to her. I have to remember that she has to accept us too. It's not a one way street. She'll become our daughter with some time and a lot of care and attention.
Kai has been fantastic. He has been an absolute ham the whole trip, charming and flirting on the plane. I was very worried any bad memories of the Taldy babyhouse he might have would surface when we took him to visit. He was there for eight months of his life and though they seem to have taken great care of him, it's hard to know what his perspective is on those months. Turns out he was almost as thrilled to see the caretakers as they were to see him. Very nice way to begin the trip.
Love to all. More tomorrow. Dad, I hope you're well, hang in there, we're thinking of you.
Zach
April:
OK, after a dinner of M&M's, beer and meat on a stick (we got shish-kabobs to go. Yummi!) I am drunk, exhausted and wired all at the same time.
The trip was long, very long. Kai did great on very little sleep and food. He was just awesome the whole way and barely fussed at all.
We were met at the airport by Emil and it was so great to see him. Thus began 24 hours of very happy reunions. The next morning we saw Gulnara, who was so excited to see us and grabbed Kai from us and almost didn't give him back. There is a familiarity and ease to this trip that wasn't there last time. We feel comfortable and welcomed. Everybody is so happy to see us. Even the lady at the hotel in Almaty remembered us, and we only stayed one night there last time.
Taking Kai to the babyhouse was so amazing!!! I knew they would be happy to see him, but I didn't expect them to be so happy to see us. We got hugs and kisses and Kai was fussed over like a returning hero. EVERYBODY came out to see him. He was so happy and smiley despite being exhausted that I have to believe he remembered some of them. They were amazed at how big he has gotten and how strong. It was really a great reunion.
We finally made our way upstairs to Rowan's room (the same one Kai was in) and we were told to wait because they were cleaning her up. That was when I realized that we were getting special treatment. Kai wasn't cleaned up especially for us, he was just handed to us in his pink, terry-cloth onesie. Rowan, on the other hand was presented to us like the Kazakh princess that she is, in a brand new pink outfit, spotlessly clean.
She is bright-eyed, curious and so, so sweet. She touched our faces and loved to be cuddled. I got a smile out of her when I kissed her belly. Mostly she was just content to be held. If Kai was in the vicinity she was riveted by him. As to what Zach was saying about the whole experience, I think the fact that we were here so recently has made the first meeting less fraught. We knew a little bit what to expect. Also, looking back over the last year with Kai, even though I thought I loved him right away (and I did) it was NOTHING compared to what I feel for him now, or how he feels about us. We have all fallen in love over the last year and knowing that has made me able to recognize the fact that those feelings for Rowan will come as we get to know her better and as she gets to know us. I can't tell you how excited we are about her. She is so incredibly beautiful and gentle. We both just want to hold her forever and take care of her and kiss her from the tip of her head to the tips of her sweet toes. Tomorrow the regular visits begin!! Yay!
OK, Zach is snoring on Zhenya's infamous couch (hands down the most uncomfortable piece of furniture in the world) and mom just grunted something at me and stumbled off to bed. I think it was "say hi to everybody for me. The beer did her in.
By the way, the playground looks amazing!!! Thanks to everybody who donated money and to all the volunteers who came here to build it and to the families they left behind while they were here!
Jeff and Kate, we are thinking of you guys and hoping Jeff continues to have a good recovery. We love you.
Love to the rest of you too!
